The difference between shyness in kids and selective mutism in kids is that shyness is just a normal personality trait, in which a kid or child feels hesitant or even awkward around new settings or new people.
However in shyness, kids or children can still function and even eventually speak in social settings.
But in kids or children that have selective mutism, they physically cannot speak in certain situations although they can also speak such as at home or in familiar environments.
Unlike shyness, selective mutism in kids and even adults is a serious anxiety disorder that causes a child or adult to be unable to speak consistently in specific places such as school, in a crowd or other places although they can speak fine at home.
kids that have selective mutism don't warm up like kids often do with shyness.
Instead kids with selective mutism look frozen and avoid eye contact and they literally can't get words out in certain environments due to panic.
A kid with selective mutism that doesn't speak in certain situations is not doing it out of defiance, but instead they are not talking due to physically being unable to speak in those situations as their brain causes them to freeze up.
The lack of eye contact is also not voluntary and is caused by the way the child's brain is wired.
In shyness, kids often warm up over time and answer when asked and can also do everyday tasks, like reading in class or ordering food etc if given enough time and a chance to adjust.
Shyness also does not stop the child from making friends, learning or doing well at school.
However selective mutism hurts a child's performance in school and stops social growth and also causes great distress because the child with selective mutism wants to talk but feels and is paralyzed and unable to talk in those situations.
Selective mutism also often goes along with social anxiety in children and teens and selective mutism and social anxiety can get better as the child grows into an adult but it often remains for the rest of their lives and can affect a persons ability to get and keep a job as well.
Social anxiety and selective mutism are also deeply intertwined, with selective mutism, being widely considered an extreme, early childhood manifestation of social anxiety.
Around 70 percent of children that are diagnosed with selective mutism also meet the diagnostic criteria for social anxiety disorder.
Social anxiety and selective mutism overlap as conditions and fuel one another through a specific psychological loop.
Social anxiety (fear of negative judgement/attention).
Selective Mutism (Nervous system locks up).
The Anxiety Loop (silence lowers panic temporarily, but strengthens the social fear over time).
Social anxiety and selective mutism also have shared genetic roots and children with both social anxiety and selective mutism often inherit a "behaviorally inhibited" temperament.
What this means is that their brains, most specifically the amygdala are highly sensitive to new social environments, and treat everyday interactions as actual physical threats.
And for a social anxious child, the fear of being laughed at, judged or even spotlighted is also overwhelming.
And when the child's nervous system enters a "freeze" response the child stops speaking.
The child also then quickly learns that remaining completely silent also takes the pressure off and temporarily lowers the child's panic and unintentionally trains their brain to keep using silence to remain safe.
Selective mutism is also often noticed early, often between the ages of 2 and 4 years old when the child begins preschool.
And if the underlying anxiety is left untreated, the physical symptom of silence may also fade as they grow, but it also frequently shifts into broader and lifelong patterns of Social Anxiety Disorder during adolescence.
Although while, social anxiety and selective mutism do go hand in hand, clinicians also still do distinguish social anxiety and selective mutism by how they impact the child's or persons ability to communicate.
In social anxiety disorder the child is often able to speak, although they also experience intense fear, discomfort or a shaky voice while doing so.
In selective mutism, the child often experiences a physical "freeze" response that makes speech feel totally impossible in specific settings.
In social anxiety disorder, the child or person may also still use physical gestures, nod or even make eye contact to get through the anxious interaction.
And in selective mutism, the child or person often looks completely frozen, expressionless and avoid eye contact entirely to evade attention.
And in social anxiety disorder, it covers a broad range of fears like meeting new people, being watched while eating or performing and in selective mutism, it focuses heavily on the expectation to speak in specific places like school for example.