Making your children hug family is wrong?

Question

Making your children hug family and people is wrong?

After thanksgiving and Christmas my sister, brothers and other family will tell their toddlers that they have to hug everyone goodbye even after they shy away or look scared. Ive seen small children get into trouble for not wanting to hug or kiss someone way too many times to be comfortable with.

I remember being a little kid and having adults i didn't know pick me up, if i cried or tried to get away i would be punished and everyone would be upset with me. I ended up growing up scared to tell people no and stand up for myself, big surprise there.

I get that people are trying to teach their children manners and whatnot but i feel that teaching them to value their own boundaries should be much more important.

Telling them they are bad for not kissing or hugging someone just teaches them that they aren't worthy of consent.

Also forcing kids to eat in front of strangers and family they don't know is wrong as well.

Answer 1

I was one of those kids who was forced to hug and kiss family.

When I was little I would be told that I had to hug and kiss my aunt, uncle etc and my aunt would also pinch my cheeks which I hated.

I don't allow my mom or my wife's mom to pinch my own kids cheeks as their Grandma.

Kids should be allowed to choose whether or not they want to hug someone or get kisses or hugs from someone even if they are family.

Just because they are your family does not mean that the kid has to hug or kiss them or tell them that they love them etc.

You don't have to love people just because they are your family.

Kids have rights to choose who they want to love, who they want to keep away from and who they want hugs or kisses from and if they do not want hugs, kisses etc then they should have a say so in that.

I was shy as a kid as well and hated being around family I didn't know and I was always uncomfortable by age 2 years old to be around extended family I didn't really know.