Sorry to hear you're feeling down about things in life.
I've had days like that myself before but I decided that I was gonna push myself to find more interesting things to do to make life more interesting.
We all have our hard times in life. But things can change. We know what exists here on earth while we're alive but we don't know what happens after death.
Death will come too soon anyway so please don't kill yourself.
If you can't find a job keep applying no matter how long it takes. It took me 500 resumes to get my first job. I thought about giving up on finding a job but pushed myself to keep applying and after the 500th resume I landed my job.
It wasn't a dream job but it was a job.