Question

3 year old son refuses to let me change his dirty diaper?

My son almost 3.5 years old, and every time he poops in his diaper, he refuses to let me change it.

Whenever I try to change it after he poops, he gets extremely angry, fights, and runs around.

He wants to keep it on and continue with what he was doing.

If I try to ask him nicely first if he has pooped, he says he hasn't.

He's otherwise good at telling me when the diaper starts to get full/heavy with pee and that he wants a new one.

But when he poops, it's a different story.

I don't understand why he behaves like this.

He would quite happily sit in his dirty diaper all day if I let him, it doesn't bother him whatsoever!

Has anyone else experienced this? How should I handle this?

I feel like I can't handle arguing with him anymore and am hoping for some advice on what I can do.

I was planning to try potty training this summer, so it's not currently an option anyway.

Answer 1

If your 3 year old son is refusing to let you change his diaper you could offer your 3 year old son choices where you can when it's time to change his diaper.

For example you could let your 3 year old son choose which diaper he would like to wear, let him choose sitting or standing diaper changes, etc.

And also acknowledge his emotions around the process.

Then follow through and change his diaper when it needs to be changed.

A 3 year old boy that refuses diaper changes is also discovering independence, is absorbed in whatever activity he's involved in, and doesn't see why he needs to be interrupted for something as disruptive as a diaper change.

You could also try potty training your 3 year old son if he doesn't want to have his diaper changed.

Tell him that if he starts to use the potty that he won't need diapers anymore and will no longer require diaper changes.

As for the 3 year old not minding sitting in a poop diaper, it's likely that the 3 year old loves the feeling of the poop in a diaper and could be a reason why he resists the poopy diaper changes.

You can also give the 3 year old a toy that is only played with during diaper changes and sometimes that will get them to cooperate with a diaper change.

Also try changing his diaper wherever he is and if possible do stand up diaper changes, although stand up diaper changes can be harder than lay down diaper changes if he's poopy.

Many toddlers also hate diaper changes because they want to assert their independence and are too busy playing and some toddlers are uncomfortable with the diaper changes.

Toddlers resisting diaper changes is normal and usually stems from a desire to have more control, or from being interrupted from play or other activities they enjoy or even possibly from a physical discomfort from rash or other issues.

In some cases you might have to physically restrain your 3 year old or toddler get their diaper changed even if they don't want the diaper change.