Does shouting damage your child?

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asked Aug 4, 2023 in Grade Schooler by rebollo (1,030 points)
Does shouting damage your child?

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answered Oct 10, 2023 by Egsbendict (22,150 points)
Shouting does damage your child and it's best to avoid shouting at your child unless absolutely necessary.

Of course if the child is in danger then you should shout at them if needed but in other cases you should avoid shouting at your child as it can make things worse.

And children who grow up in homes that consistently yell are actually more likely to have anxiety, depression, stress and other emotional issues–similar to the effects of children who are spanked frequently.

Children who regularly experience being yelled at are also more likely to develop emotional and behavioral problems, such as aggression, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.

If you're wondering if your kids will remember you yelling?” know that the negative effects that ensue can last well into adolescence and adulthood.

Being frequently yelled at changes the mind, brain and body in a multitude of ways including increasing the activity of the amygdala (the emotional brain), increasing stress hormones in the blood stream, increasing muscular tension and more.

Some ways you can be a better parent without yelling at your child include

Know your triggers.
Give kids a warning.
Take a time out.
Make a Yes List.
Teach the lesson later.
Know what's considered normal behavior.
Be proactive.
Adjust your expectations.

For some children, the cumulative effect of growing up in a family with frequent harsh verbal discipline can basically rewire the brain and lead to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

If your child or teen behaves in a disrespectful manner, restitution may be necessary to discourage it from happening again.

Restitution is about doing something kind for the victim or doing something to make reparations for the damage that has been done.

Instead of allowing yourself to feel hurt or angry (which is a surefire way to get pulled into a power struggle), be clear and direct with your child.

If they're being mildly sassy and starting to push some boundaries, you can say, “Don't talk to me that way, I don't like it,” and then turn around and walk away.

When the boundaries are unclear and children are hearing hundreds of commands a day, they can't tell when it's important to listen.

They might even start to tune you out.

They learn to wait until you raise your voice and yell, which becomes their cue that you mean business.

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