I was also one of those kids who was forced or at least tried to be forced into eating food around family.
If I didn't try to eat any food that was served to me as a kid I would get a spanking and my mom would try to force me to eat the food by spoon feeding it to me.
She would start feeding me and if I didn't open my mouth to eat the food she would spank me.
I took the spankings most times though because I just didn't like eating around family.
Even my own kids do not like eating when at families houses or when extended family come here.
When extended family come here to our house my kids go into their rooms and stay in their rooms until the family leaves.
I bring them food to them and they can come out of the room if they want too.
They choose to stay in their room because when it's family other than Grandma or Grandpa then they don't like the gatherings.
I don't really myself either but I put up with it because my wife wants it.
If a kid does not want to eat around strangers or family they should not be forced into it.
I was one of those kids who was forced to hug and kiss family.
When I was little I would be told that I had to hug and kiss my aunt, uncle etc and my aunt would also pinch my cheeks which I hated.
I don't allow my mom or my wife's mom to pinch my own kids cheeks as their Grandma.
Kids should be allowed to choose whether or not they want to hug someone or get kisses or hugs from someone even if they are family.
Just because they are your family does not mean that the kid has to hug or kiss them or tell them that they love them etc.
You don't have to love people just because they are your family.
Kids have rights to choose who they want to love, who they want to keep away from and who they want hugs or kisses from and if they do not want hugs, kisses etc then they should have a say so in that.
I was shy as a kid as well and hated being around family I didn't know and I was always uncomfortable by age 2 years old to be around extended family I didn't really know.